Dear Ms. Mabel,

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This will be the first summer I’m working from home. The closer we get to the last day of school, the more nervous I get about it. How on earth do I keep my kids busy all day so I can get work done? I’ve tried googling different ideas to keep them occupied, but a lot of what I found would require me to be available to help. Any ideas?

Anxious about activities,

Adams, TN

Truth be told, y’all didn’t hear me the first two times I said this, apparently, so I’m going to say it again, louder this time: STOP TRYING TO DO SO MUCH. I never in my life gave one thought to how I was going to keep my children busy during the summer, and I guarantee my own mother didn’t, either.

Hold on before you get your girdle in a gob. I know it's different for you young Moms now, a whole lot more pressure and such. But hear me out. What if y’all collectively decided to just … stop. Stop trying to do it all. Stop trying to measure up. Stop trying to be something you’re not. What would happen?

Think on that and let me know.

Now, back to your question. How do you occupy your children this summer?

Well, the first thing you're going to do is stop assuming the role of entertainment director and become the entertainment facilitator.

The difference between the two is best summed up by thinking about giving a kid a cardboard box to get creative with. The director would give a kid the box and tell them what to do with it, then help gather the supplies, then help them execute, then eventually take it over because kids can’t do nothing right. A facilitator would give the kid the box and say “have at it, can’t wait to see what you come up with.” It’s probably going to be a weird, kinda ugly thing, but both of you are happier if you just walk away. Just make sure your kids have the supplies they need to be creative and then let them go (and clean up their own mess too, of course).

Next, you’re going to give them chores.

Some of you already do this, but I know others might think their kids are too small for a to-do list. Listen, less than 100 years ago 6-year olds were working in factories or cooking full meals for their families. Your baby can fold his own t-shirts and put them away, I promise. My rule of thumb for chores was always one chore the children LIKED doing plus one they didn’t care for. That seems to keep things moving along pretty well. Summer is a great time to practice those life skills! I also recommend keeping a list of not-so-pleasant chores to assign to children who come to you with grumblings of “I’m bored.” Just go on and nip that mess in the bud, real quick.

And lastly, use your time (and theirs) wisely.

Get creative and plan ahead. If you keep the TV or what-not off most of the time, your kids will be better for it. Y’all already know this. But I’m telling you to save those screens until the busiest times in your day. Act like it’s a treat.

If you can work early in the morning, get up before they do. Have fun lunches together regularly, like picnics or in tents in the living room. Do like kindergarten teachers and create themed days, like “inside out day,” to keep the monotony at bay. Eat dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner. Get up from your desk at random and declare a “dance break” during chore time. It doesn’t have to be a big deal or over planned. You know what little stuff your kids like so just do that often enough.

Bonus — don’t forget, kids NEED to be bored in order for the real magic of childhood to blossom. They might tell you that you’re a mean mom now, but their future selves will thank you.

What about you other seasoned moms? Y’all have any other good tips?

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