Dear Ms. Mabel

I have three children. The oldest two are ten-ish years older than the youngest and were fairly easy to raise. The baby, however, is … a challenge. She’s a sweet 10-year-old with a big heart and a curious mind. She’s so curious, however, that she asks me a million questions a day. I’ll admit, it can get pretty exhausting and I feel guilty when it gets on my nerves.

Being a curious thinker, she’s also pretty argumentative. I view this as disrespect but I try to see things from her perspective. She just wants to understand. A lot of times she questions WHY she has to do certain things and I don’t always have an answer. What do you say to a child like mine when the only real answer is “because I said so?”

Parental Predicament,

Portland, TN

Truth be told, no one can make you feel more dumb than a kid who asks too many questions.  Children are a treasure from Heaven but boy oh boy, they will WEAR YOU OUT.  You’ll feel like a reasonably intelligent person and then a kid will ask you to define a word like “kinda” and you have no idea what to say. Go ahead, try it for yourself. If you come up with a good definition without looking it up, let me know. 

The good news is, this is just a season, it’s not forever. Someday all this knowledge she’s cramming in that pretty little head will lean itself to success in adulthood. Then maybe she’ll buy you a house in Florida or take you on a nice trip to make up for it. 

In the meantime, here are three things I’ve learned along the way: 

1. “That’s how God made it.” If you’ve ever been stuck in an endless loop of “whys” with a young child make this your go-to phrase. Y’all know what I’m talking about. The little boogers are trying to trap you, likely while you’re doing something else and answer everything you respond with “but why.” When they finally wear you down and you can’t go on, just reply with “because that’s how God made it.” And when they reply with “but why?” Just say, “I don’t know; go pray and ask him.” 

It works like a charm. If you don’t believe in God, I don’t know what to tell you. I guess just skip this one.

2. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know but we can find out.” I think the idea that we’re supposed to convince our children that we know everything is absolutely crazy. Now, I think it’s good that our kids see us as more experienced and with a certain amount of wisdom but to act like we are all-knowing is quite arrogant. Children need to see the adults in their life make mistakes, learn new things and get up and try again. 

How else are they going to learn to do that themselves? Just because we tell them to? Hogwash.

3. Now for deeper, more philosophical questions about faith and morality, sometimes it’s easier to explain why you believe the opposing view point is wrong or what consequences will come from making the opposite choice. A lot of times, it’s easier to explain what we DON’T believe or support rather than what we do. That’s usually where I find the logic in my feelings, anyways. 

Okay, I hope this helps a little. Remember, Gandolf isn’t real … you SHALL pass this phase. It will happen. 

Now, before I leave you. Go stand in front of the mirror and say these words to yourself. 

"I can do this. No matter what happens today.  I’m a good Mom. I love my kids. And I’m definitely smarter than a 5th grader." 

You got this, darlin! Love you!