Dear Ms. Mabel,

I am one of four siblings in our family. I live right next door to our parents, so if they need something, I’m usually the one they call. That makes sense—I knew that when I moved there.

The problem is, my mother recently fell and hurt her knee bad enough to require surgery. The recovery time is pretty long, and they will need a lot of help.

None of my siblings are volunteering to help outside of calling to check on her, and I’m exhausted. I have a full-time job and two children. I can’t possibly manage everything on my own anymore.

I feel kinda bitter about it, honestly. What do I say to my siblings to get them to pitch in?

Worn Out in White House

Truth be told, being the family “fixer” is a whole ministry—and those in charge ought to have their name printed right there in the church bulletin.

BUT… even saints need a nap sometimes.

Now, I’ve got two possible reasons (maybe three) why you’re in this boat.

First reason—and this might sting a little— you might not be real good at letting go and letting other folks take the reins.

Now don’t get your bloomers in a bunch. Just think with me a minute.

Do you let your siblings handle things without a side-eye or a correction?
How often do you get frustrated when they don’t do it your way?

If the answer is yes, then you’ve got yourself a choice:

Hand it over and let it be a little imperfect, OR keep doing everything your way forever and ever, amen.

Second possibility is that your siblings—and maybe even your parents—are so used to you handling everything, they don’t realize you’re drowning.

So let me ask you plain:

Have you actually asked for help?

Has your mama been looping your siblings into the plan for her care, or is she giving off the impression that you’ve got it all handled?

If that’s the case, then it’s time for your mama to step in and help rally the troops.

Make a list.
Call a meeting (yes, even if it’s on the phone).
Start assigning folks some responsibility.

Because people can’t show up for a job they don’t know they’ve been hired for.

Now… that third reason?

Well, it could be that your siblings are just sorry sacks of muck.

But you didn’t sound like that was the case, so we’ll leave that biscuit in the oven.

Either way, the first step is getting honest.

Be honest with yourself about what’s really going on.
Be honest with your siblings about what you need.

And here’s the key, honey—
Keep your emotions in your pocket and your words clear.

You might be surprised how fast folks fall in line when you finally speak up.

Good luck, little sister.

I hope this turns into a brand-new lease on life for you—not just more weight on your shoulders.

I’ll be praying for you… and your mama.