Dear Ms. Mabel,

I was recently asked about my “parenting philosophy,” and I realized I don’t really have one. I’m just trying to keep my kids alive and reasonably happy. Is that wrong? Did you have one? Is this something I should be writing down?

Wondering in White House

Oh, good grief.

Sometimes I think you younger folks must just be bored — the way you take something we’ve been doing since the beginning of time and turn it into a dissertation.

Parenting philosophy?

I’m not entirely sure what that means, but I’ll take a stab at it.

Truth be told, I reckon mine was something like this:

Give them enough love and attention so they grow up to be contributing members of society…
But enough discomfort that they’ll also be funny.

Now don’t get your panties in a wad. I am not talking about real, awful trauma. That’s no joking matter.

I mean the kind folks nowadays like to label “trauma” when really it’s just plain honesty.

Telling the truth that stings a little.
Making them own their messes.
Letting natural consequences do the teaching.

One time my granddaughter wanted to be in the school talent show.

Bless her heart — she’s beautiful, bright, artistic as all get-out… and when she sings?

Well.

Let’s just say it sounds like a dying goat. (If you know, you know.)

Her mama called me in a panic, so I said, “Let me be the bad guy. She’ll still love me anyway.”

When the girl came over, I wrapped that truth up in a bow. I left out the "dying goat" bit, of course. But I told her straight:

“Baby, your feet can dance circles around this town, but singing just ain’t your thing.”

She cried. I felt mean for about three minutes.

But wouldn’t you know it? She took the advice, strutted her stuff on that stage — and won the whole dang thing as a dancer.

Nowadays it feels like some parents are scared to tell their kids the truth.

But how are they supposed to build resilience?
How are they supposed to figure out who they are?

You are not going to ruin a child for life by saying, “Sweetheart, that ain’t your lane.”

And if they’re acting like a jerk?
Tell them they’re acting like a jerk.

If they’re being selfish, they need to know it.

We’ve got too many grown — or half-grown — folks wandering around thinking they can do no wrong and having no earthly idea how to apologize.

Alright. I’ll step off my soapbox.

Now what does all this “trauma” have to do with being funny?

Well, in those uncomfortable little moments is where confidence grows. And more importantly, that blessed ability not to take yourself too seriously.

People who don’t need their egos babysat?
They’re usually the most delightful folks in the room.

Well, I’ve probably ruffled some feathers.

But I love you anyway.
And you know I’ll be praying for you.

Come back next time — and maybe we’ll talk about politics.

(Just kidding. Or am I?)