Dear Ms. Mabel,

Am I the only one that thinks weddings have gotten out of hand? What used to be a simple, albeit beautiful, display of love and dedication has turned into a narcissistic display of over-spending with high expectations and even higher demands. 

My granddaughter is planning a wedding for the spring of next year. I was recently discussing the wedding plans with her and her mother and I’m blown away by what they are planning. She’s a sweet girl and her Momma is a good one so I don’t understand why they are going overboard. They are spending thousands of dollars on just one day. She is having what she calls “a child-free wedding,” with the exception of the ones who are in the wedding party. The straw that broke the camel's back was when she told me about the dress code. She’s REQUIRING that the guests only wear a couple of different colors. That’s ridiculous. When did we start going so far as to control what people wear? 

How do I talk to them about this without ruffling a bunch of feathers? A simple wedding with vows and a cake was good enough for me to stay married for 45 years so I just don’t understand all the fuss.

Nuptial Nonsense,

Cedar Hill, TN

Truth be told, I’m so glad you asked this question before talking to them. I have a lot to say about this so you might want to sit down. 

Matter of fact, grab a pad of paper and take notes. 

Now, number that paper 1-100 and write, “My granddaughter's wedding is NOT about me,” 100 times. When you’re finished, we’ll talk. 

Ok, I have to say I agree. Spending thousands on a wedding is extravagant. BUT. And I mean BIG, but…if there’s ever a reason to go all out, it’s a wedding. Actually, from what I understand, one doesn’t even have to try very hard to spend thousands on a wedding. What you spend on a venue nowadays could probably buy you a reliable used car. 

You know as well as I do, your granddaughter has been planning that big day for most of her life. Your job, as a grandmother, is to smile pretty as you get escorted to your seat, give her a warm hug and tell her how beautiful she looks, but most importantly, it’s to KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF. Unless you are the one getting hitched or the one footing the bill, none of the details are none of your business. 

Now, as far as some of the “demands” you listed. Firstly, I’ve noticed that child-free weddings are becoming more popular. On the surface it does seem weird but when you really think about it, it makes sense. As I said before, wedding venues are ridiculously expensive and the cost goes up based on crowd size. If the bride's family can cut down on the cost by excluding the little boogers who are going to be force-fed two bites and then spend the rest of the time running around raising cain, why couldn’t they? 

Second, the dress code. Girl, stop looking for a reason to be upset. Nice weddings have had dress codes since I can remember. It used to be set based on the time of day the ceremony was held, but now they just let their wishes be known on the invitations. If you are gonna get your girdle in a gob because she wants everyone to wear shades of blue and pink (or whatever it is), you might need to go find a new hobby or something. 

To wrap this up, you really need to change your way of thinking and come to terms with the fact that your negative opinions have no place in this situation. If you love your granddaughter, you’ll keep your mouth shut. 

Matter of fact, the world would be a better place if we could all put that into practice. I’ll say it again. Most of the time, no one cares about your negative opinions so you might as well just keep those to yourself. 

As always, though, I love your ornery (insert dirty word that’ll get in trouble for saying). I’ll be praying for you. But mostly that you’ll sit down and shut up. Respectfully, of course.