Dear Ms. Mabel,

I’ve recently started a new job, and I love the work I do. The ladies in my office have been welcoming and helpful—except one.

She’s rude to me for no apparent reason. A few times, I tried to make small talk, and she showed zero interest in being cordial. She acts put out if I ask her a question related to work. I’ve even caught her giving me a nasty look during a meeting.

I’ve talked to a few of the other ladies, and they just blow it off by saying, “That’s just how she is.”

I don’t want to accept that. I want to confront her.

How do I handle this?

- Workin' 9-5 in Gallatin

Truth be told… the real question here is: Why are you allowing this woman to have any influence over your peace?

If you’re craving acceptance in your new office, it sounds like the other ladies are treating you just right. That’s where your attention ought to be.

I’ll tell you what—one of the hardest lessons to learn as an adult is that not everyone has to be your buddy.

When y’all were little, we grown folks did our best to teach kindness. We had you inviting the whole class to your birthday parties, didn’t we? Told you cliques were bad. Made you play with everybody whether you wanted to or not.

And that was well-intentioned… but it didn’t exactly prepare you for the real world.

Adult friendships aren’t born out of obligation, but out of complementing temperaments, shared interests, and similar morals.

And if those things aren’t there?

Well… they just aren’t there.

Ain’t nobody wrong for it. It’s just how it is.

Now, your coworker should be polite—and that’s about where her duty ends. She ain’t required to like you, include you, or warm up to you.

And I’m gonna be real honest with you, darling, so hear me straight—there is nothing you can do to change an icy disposition if that’s what she’s set on being.

So instead of wearing yourself out trying to thaw her out—or worse, confronting her about it—go on ahead and borrow a little wisdom from the icy queen and…

LET. IT. GO.

Because worrying about things you can’t change? That’s one of the biggest wastes of your good energy.

Whew, girl… let that sink in and butter your biscuit.

If you can learn right now that you can’t control other people—and you don’t need everyone to like you—you’re going to save yourself a whole lot of heartache down the road.

I’ll be praying for you, darling. Good luck!

Editor's Note: A good snot laugh is great medicine. Check out Dolly Parton's iconic movie, "9 to 5".