Dear Ms. Mabel,

If my porch has five rocking chairs but nobody’s rocking, am I doing small-town life wrong? I’m relatively new here, and I can’t seem to make any real friends. Help!

Lonely in Orlinda

Truth be told, darling, you probably ain’t doing nothing wrong. People nowadays are busier than a squirrel gathering nuts before the weather changes its mind. Not much time for porch sitting and sipping.

Now, that being said, if you’re lonely, I’ve got a few ideas.

Join a church. You already knew that was gonna be my first suggestion. If Jesus ain’t already your best friend, start there. He’ll go with you wherever you go, and you can talk to Him all day. I just might keep that dialogue on the inside while you’re in public so people don’t think you’re crazy.

Beyond that, the local churches are full of people—lots of different kinds of people. Maybe even your people! You gotta get involved, though. You can’t just show up once a week for an hour on Sunday morning and expect to find your new best friend.

Volunteer. Use your extra time to fill a need within your community. That’s a great way to meet people who align with your same values. Join a civic club, volunteer to help a nonprofit, be the dugout mom or something similar if you have kids involved in activities. Just do SOMETHING that puts you in contact with other people.

Keep a good attitude and a smile on your face. Make sure you’re presenting yourself as someone others WANT to be around. Positivity attracts positivity!

Don’t expect other people to make the first move. Compliment a stranger. Invite a new acquaintance to coffee. Be an includer. Pay attention to the needs of others and be the first to jump in and help.

Don’t rush it. Adult friendships take time and a fair amount of work. It’s not gonna happen overnight.

I’ll be praying for you, darlin’. It will happen exactly how it’s supposed to.

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